I never took marriage as a serious issue until it started hunting me every day. It didn’t hunt me by getting a lot of proposals but by seeing every girl wanting to get married. Currently, Arab girls were raised with the idea that marriage is a must in their lives.  For example, back in the 50’s girls used to get married at the age of 12. Unfortunately, the older the girl becomes the fewer opportunities she gets – at least that’s what people thought back then. My purpose of this article is not to talk about marriage in the 50s or 60s nor to compare it with the present. I’m more interested in knowing why most of the girls nowadays are hallucinating about the idea of getting married. I used the word hallucinating to make myself clearer about the type I’m talking about. As a matter of fact, I’m actually not against the idea at all. It’s every girl’s dream to have a family and kids with the man she desires. I’m against those who start getting depressed, thinking of the idea constantly, and when searching for the “husband” becomes their first mission. I had a small talk with an old friend A.M (28-single) about this subject. According to him, “each girl he meets implies that she wants to get married just a week after being with her”. He also said that “marriage should happen naturally not after a few weeks because it’ll just appear as if the girl was looking for any husband”.

I believe that the issue is not only about getting married. Many girls take into consideration how society looks at them being single for a long time. They try to challenge themselves without even being satisfied. And in the end, they find themselves struggling with the idea of “there’s something wrong about me”. Well, guess what! Nothing is wrong with you. There is definitely something wrong about how you manage to seek for the “husband”. Persuading you that the fact of “searching” is a huge mistake would be a good start.  Abdulmohsen Bakhashwain (24-single) had a thought about that by saying “I think searching is just retarded because by doing that, girls are pushing themselves to go to extreme measures that are unnecessary and demeaning”. He continues, “A girl should go on with her life, concentrate on her daily interactions, job, lifestyle, and eventually she might bump into the right guy”.

When I was talking about this subject around a couple of friends, one of them told me a sentence that numbed me for a few seconds. She said, “Being single means getting action, and being married means being safe”. I am not even sure if this saying is true to a certain extent or not. While the same friend also told me, “being single is really amazing, ask only married women”. So the question again is, why do all girls want to get hitched with a guy so badly? I asked this question to Yazan Zannad (29-single), he answered by saying, “well, I feel there is a reason behind this, usually these girls feel insecure and unstable with their families. That’s why they look for a change that might bring stability and security to them, I cannot say I like them but I can understand the way they think.” Zannad understands the way they think but he also cannot stand a girl’s indications for marriage after a few months only which he considers a bad tactic from the girl. For those cases maybe marriage is an idea but without it, you still can survive. That’s why; no matter what marrying “any” guy is not the key.  Many women today are independent, challengers, and competitors. Their lives are delightful even without a husband. Not getting married doesn’t mean anything but that you’re smart enough to know that you are just not ready to make a life-long commitment yet. Noor Abdullatif (20-single) gives her opinion by saying “I think if the woman had a big business to live from then she could definitely survive living alone. Women shouldn’t really get married in order to rely on the man’s business or finance. I personally think that it would be best for a woman to be engaged for the longest time possible before she falls into the trap of getting married to the wrong guy who failed to be of her expectations”.   Teach yourself that being convinced about you the way you are must be a chore

Because of the rise of spinster’s people, matchmakers are achieving more and more of their goals. We have a lot of different websites and people that their main job is to help couples get married. They search for similarities between a guy and a girl, and then they match them together in a “deferential” way. A good example of that is the website, www.na9eeb.com. Some people visit it because they think it’s a good way to find the ideal wife or husband. L.H (23-single) says that she was totally against this scheme until she met someone who does matchmaking. She says, “This matchmaker really knows what she’s doing. She knows what every guy and girl look for in each other. So according to that she matches them. Therefore, if she is familiar with what a girl or a guy really needs then there’s absolutely no harm in doing that but again this thing isn’t for me”.  On the other hand, Samah Al-Hamawi (23-single) thinks otherwise. She says, “People who use these kinds of websites are silly and desperate.  It’s weird and I don’t get it when people use them especially when they can meet people live”. In spite of everything, it’s a matter of lifestyle, culture, and traditions. Some people find it a very healthy way and some simply don’t. Be aware that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

I have seen it around me everywhere. Girls envying each other when they hear a girl got married. Subsequently the question of “why not me?” climb up their thoughts again. They just stay spinning around these naïve images they have in their heads. Images like they’re staying single forever, their parents trying to accomplish their full mission by bringing a husband, and their society seeing them with sympathy. Taking a break of all that and concentrating on your own life would remove your concerns in a way or another. It’s time to break your marriage alarm.   

Advertisements